Great Wizards of All Time

If there's one thing teens love, it's stupid ass shit. This is why I've compiled this list (chosen by popular teen decision) of the greatest wizards of all time. Enjoy


5. Ron Weasley

ron weasley

Coming in at number five, we have Ron Weasley. His biggest accomplishments include being friends with Harry Potter and banging Emma Watson. Emma must have had a little too much butter beer to agree to sex with Ron, but good for him anyway. Also, he's good at magic, I guess

4. Emma Watson

emma watson

At number four we have Emma Watson. She very well could have come in first, being one of the most powerful wizards in all of wherever the Harry Potter books take place. Unfortunately, she cut her hair, which as we all know reduces your magical abilities by 70%. I think that's true. Regardless, she's nowhere near as cute as she used to be. I'd still hit it tho. For sure

3. Harry Potter's Dad

harry potter's dad

Quick trivia: what part of a wizard's body harnesses the most magical powers? No, not the nipples! It's the mustache! And who has a better mustache than Harry Potter's dad? No one, that's who. I mean look at that man. He has magic dripping out the wazoo... THE WAZOO

2. Harry Potter

harry potter

What's that? You look surprised. Yes, Harry Potter is not at number one, but number two is pretty damn good! First off, he has like a buncha books written about him. I never had to read those books though because I was there for the actual events, so let me tell you something. This mother fucker knows magic. Remember when he buried himself alive in cement? That shit was cray cray. This guy practically invented magic. Before him it was all bunnies in hats and gay shit like that. But of course, his powers can only be topped by the person at number one on our list...

1. Lord Voldemort

lord voldemort

Ah yes, we have reached the end of our list, and who would be more fitting than the Dark Lord himself? His hobbies include sippin on unicorn blood, killing mudbloods, and going out for sushi. With magical powers that surpass even that of ole' Harry, Voldemort truly is not a wizard you want to fuck with. Many people will tell you that he is dead, but true believers know he is in hiding, waiting for the perfect opportunity to come back and raise some hell. Here's to you Lord Voldermort, you crazy bastard! Keep on wizzin' in the free world!