Halloween Costumes That Will Get You Laid

Countless teen hopes have come to fruition or been crushed on October 31st.  The key is to wear the right thing to make sure the babes talk to you instead of your better looking friends at this year's halloween rager.  Oh by the way, if you ladies are expecting a similar article, don't, if you wanna get laid just wear as little as possible.

halloween costume
ladies hit up @krash_69
Sometimes it just pays to improvise.  Not everyone has the forward thinking to plan a halloween costume and I'll be damned if any person was ever better off from planning things out.

"are those arrows pointing to your penis?"
*gets laid*

halloween costume
haha i swallllowed a beer cun

There are three things ladies like: money, free alcohol, and boners.  Clearly if you can afford a friggin X-Ray machine you've got some bills and the ladies can clearly see you give out alcohol like candy considering you've recently swallowed an entire beer can!  Ask them to pull down your pants and complete the trifecta.

"hey girl can you see right through me?"
"uhhh i guess"
"then i guess you can see you've given me a massive boner"
*gets laid*

halloween costume hot dog
american made, american laid

As much as females hate to admit it they love food items that are shaped similarly to male genitalia.  A hot dog is basically the American version of an Italian sausage and it works just as well.  It won't take long for a girl to realize you're too big to shove in her mouth and she'll have to settle for a consolation prize.

"girl you see this mustard?"
"well that's the only CONDOM-ment i'll be wearing tonight"
*gets laid*

CAUTION: teen news "recommends" protected sex for STD and pleasure prevention

halloween costume twister board
twist her bro
Girls are naturally simple creatures.  They typically love colors and games.  This is why twister is not only consistently fun for them but can be for you too.  Whether you're playing with them or simply creepily watching you can't go wrong.

*spins wheel and lands on green*
"uhhhh spin again babe"
*gets laid*

halloween costume shark
i swallow, do you!?
In all honesty Halloween may be the third most horniest time of the year for women.  New Year's Eve ranks slightly above it because of the added desperation, but the height of female mating season happened not too long ago.  That's right, SHARK WEEK.  Wearing a shark outfit will set off many synapses in her girl brain and will surely make her want to enter the water.

*jaws theme plays as you slowly reach towards a girl's breast*
*gets laid* 

halloween costume

If girls could sleep with free alcohol they would.  So be the free alcohol and sleep with the girls.

"hey girl are you thirsty? because i'm thirsty as fuck"
*somehow gets laid*