How To Have Fun On A Snow Day

You wake up for another dreadful day of school only too find out the Based God has answered your prayers and you have a mother fucking snow day. First things first you go back to bed and snuggle with your favorite stuffed animal for a few hours, but then what? I'm here to tell you how to maximize your efficiency of yolo on this newfound day of freedom.

1. Eat a Snow Cone Made Out of Your Piss

snow day

Nothing screams IDGAF more than consuming urine; well why not kick it up a notch and make a magical yellow snow cone with your own bodily waste. So grab a friend, cross streams, and make the most heterosexual snow cone of all time. 

2. Feed Your Cat some Drugs

snow day

Doing drugs alone is fun as hell but on a special occasion such as a snow day it's in good fate that you should share the love. Assuming you're a beta loser who has no friends to do drugs with, your cat is a perfect back up. Whip out the acid, put a tab on that kitties tongue and lets get trippy!

3. Learn how to Dance

snow day

Picture this, before the snow day you were just some nerd who no one respected. But on your day off you put your hips in motion and learned how to move. Now when the breakdancing battles breakout in the cafetria you can slide through with some swagtastic moves and impress all the bitches. 

4. Go Ice Skating

snow day

There ain't a thing in the world that impresses bitches more than a dude who knows how to skate, so why not go Kristi Yamaguchi on that pussy and invite a girl to the local lake with you for some ice skating. [protip, if by some chance of god the girl responds with yes and joins you to go ice skating, thats basically a blowjob in my book and you can tell all your bros you made it to 3rd base]

5. Turn the Club Up

snow day

It's a known fact that on snow days the law doesn't apply to teens, so I suggest you take advantage of this and get drunk in a club while you have the chance. Whether you're popping bottles of ciroc or chugging cans of diet pepsi, all that matters is you waste as much money as can because women love a gluttonous spender and theres no place better to meet a female friend than in a hot, dark and sweaty club. 

6.  Creep Around tha Hood With Your Homies

snow day

In the famous words of rapper Y.G. : 

" My nigga, my nigga My nigga, my nigga (My muthafucking niggas!) My nigga, my nigga (My nigga, my nigga) My nigga, my nigga"

And I couldn't have articulated it better myself, snow days arent about spending time with your family or talking to your grandma about gay shit like the family history, snow days are about hanging out and bumming around with your ni**az. So spark a blunt, TURN UP the heat (lol get it cause it's cold and you'd wanna stay warm?!) , and enjoy your motherfuckin snow day.