Last Minute Christmas Gifts

A teen in a family of four only has a day to get his family Christmas gifts, but he doesn't feel like leaving the house.  What household items are perfect for your sister, mother, and father?

LAREDO, TX - A fourteen year old boy gives teen news the inside scoop on how he managed to get Christmas presents for his entire family in under 20 minutes.  First off, his old man.

"Dad was the easiest.  All I did was steal some of his vodka, refill the vodka up with water and put the vodka in a water bottle labeled "Dad's Secret Formula".  Regifting with the gift that keeps on taking away, amazing.

Water /=/ Vodka
Admitting that his mom was more difficult and that he would "probably have to put some effort into it" he decided to make her a Christmas Card.  "To Mom, Love [NAME REMAINS ANONYMOUS FOR HIS OWN PROTECTION]" The key to this gift is clearly the simplicity, just subtly interchanging the "from" to "love" turns this gift from a "cheap piece of shit" into a "cute cheap piece of shit".

While a drunk dad and a depressed mom were normal for this boy's family, he needed some way to maintain the bitchiness of his sister.  "This one was the toughest of all, but I decided to literally get her nothing."  He wasn't kidding, he told us that he put a ball of wrapping paper under the tree, just for her.

nothing says i love you like nothing

25 Days of Christmas
December 1st Advent Calendars
December 2nd Holiday Decorating
December 3rd WTF Happened To The Radio Part 1
December 4th Christmas Trees Are Just Plants
December 5th Hanukkah In Review
December 6th "Happy Holidays"
December 7th Ebay Christmas Ornaments
December 8th Dear Santa,
December 9th Holiday Drinks
December 10th Pumpkin Spice Latte VS. Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino
December 11th Snow Blows
December 12nd XXX-Mas
December 13th Desolation of Smaug (Christmas)
December 14th WTF Happened To The Radio Part 2
December 15th Wait, Christmas Is Religious AF
December 16th Rudolph - The Ginger Reindeer
December 17th What To Get Your Girlfriend For Christmas
December 18th Chlamydia - The Real Grinch
December 19th Why You Want To Be On The Naughty List
December 20th Christmas Movies...That Will Get You Laid
December 21st Looking Back At The End Of The World
December 22nd Stocking Stuffers (NSFW)
December 23rd Last Second Gifts
December 24th Twas The Night Before Christmas
December 25th Merry F****** Christmas