Local Teen Does Not Own an iPhone

You’ve heard that right America, there is a teenager in this country without an iPhone.

We here at teen news discovered the teen on one of our many undercover reporting operations. Able to get deep within the social circles at a local high school, we discovered the teen’s dark secret
“so, you like the new iphone update?”
haha, yeah totally. i love all the new… widgets
“what??”

It was at this precise moment we were able to pinpoint the iphone-less teen. What other secrets does this teen contain? Does he know what electricity is? Has he ever ridden in an automobile? DOES HE EVEN HAVE A TWITTER?? Intrigued, we pressed forward
“do you not own an iphone?”
w-whhat?? you’re crazy.. i love iphones!
“what model iphone do you have?
ummmm, the 3g razr?

It was at this point we reached into the teen’s pockets. What we found was disturbing. Our younger viewers might want to avert their gaze

nokia cell phone
i've seen some shit

The teen claimed “it was my older sister’s” and “at least I have a phone!” but his pleas for mercy fell on deaf ears
“i’m going to need you to surrender your phone”
NO WAY I NEED IT
*seizes phones*
“THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD”
*stomps phone*
*phone doesn’t even get scratched*
“woah, this thing is sturdy af”
yeah it’s not too bad

Regardless of this teen’s seemingly indestructible phone, we needed to-*drops iphone*
“GODDAMMIT FUCK”
*picks up phone and screen is cracked bad*

“steve fuckin jobs asshole piece of shit. hope he rots in hell”