Netflix Reacts to Net Neutrality Ruling

Teens everywhere around the world are freaking out after the government's decision to give equal rights to the internet.  The aftermath leaves the Netflix corporation decimated, and teens devastated.

angry guy lawyerWASHINGTON, DC - In a unanimous decision all four hundred and twenty supreme court justices agreed that the internet is indeed an American and is entitled to basic freedoms. Anthony Scalia stated, "the WWW is just a modern version of the KKK.  When we look at the final decision of Brown v. Board of Education we can clearly see any use of three consonants in a row is a clear civil rights violation."

While old men seemed to be in agreement, teens rallied in support of their anti-cyber agenda. "Screw the internet dude, we should be allowed to abuse it all we want" said one 15 year old, "Netflix is not a human being and therefore it pretty much deserves to be our slave."

Netflix was not available for comment.