Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer


Fair skinned Pittsburgh teens identify with the struggles of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and prompt a discussion of skin pigment equality in the United States.


PITTSBURGH, PA - The unofficial "ginger club" of St. Patrick's High gave a speech at the school's tolerance rally revolving around the famous tale of a deformed creature leading a group of creatures for a fat man on a very specific day of the year.

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows

The group believed this verse referred to the reaction of their red or orange hair color saying that they've been called anything from a "pumpkin" to a "dog boner head".  "It might not sound bad" said some fucking carrot top "but if everyone pointed out that your nose glowed, it might get annoying."

All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games

Because of the fact that their features were so noticeable they empathized with rudolph saying they have been called "pale" and "soulless".  "Unlike Rudolph, it's not that they wouldn't let them join their games, but other kids often like to play outside.  Without an extremely high SPF sunscreen that can be a life threatening situation for people like us." Another kid who looked like a fucking elmer's glue bottle complained.

spf sunburn chart
burn baby burn

Then all the reindeer loved him
And they shouted out with glee
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
You'll go down in history!

The crowd interrupted their analysis of the final verse, reportedly breaking out in "uncontrollable laughter".

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