STD Outbreak in Madison Wisconsin

There's one thing that can ruin your Christmas faster than a fuzzy green monster played by Jim Carey.  Over their first winter break, an outbreak of a particular Grinch has spread through homebound college freshmen.

MADISON, WI - A major rise in frequency of the amount of visits to the local doctor's office had the parents of a particularly active peer group asking all the wrong questions.

"Isn't it weird that all of our daughters have been sitting on infected toilet seats lately?" - Concerned Father

"I wonder why my Stacy doesn't have as many of her boyfriends over since she's gotten sick?" - Concerned Father

"Sarah, who have you been fucking?" - Concerned Mother

In order to fully understand the complexity of the situation one must keep in mind the nature of fathers.  Most dads have banged at least one girl in their lifetime statistically, and most of those girls have had dads, statistically.  However, almost all dads fail to realize that their daughters will also end up banging dudes.  The complete ignorance of history in the male patriarchy is the reason there were two world wars, two bush presidents, and two interracial Kardashian engagements.

no one man should have all that sour
The next topic of man caves in Madison will be "they're still our little girls...they're just our little girls with chlamydia".

25 Days of Christmas
December 1st Advent Calendars
December 2nd Holiday Decorating
December 3rd WTF Happened To The Radio Part 1
December 4th Christmas Trees Are Just Plants
December 5th Hanukkah In Review
December 6th "Happy Holidays"
December 7th Ebay Christmas Ornaments
December 8th Dear Santa,
December 9th Holiday Drinks
December 10th Pumpkin Spice Latte VS. Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino
December 11th Snow Blows
December 12nd XXX-Mas
December 13th Desolation of Smaug (Christmas)
December 14th WTF Happened To The Radio Part 2
December 15th Wait, Christmas Is Religious AF
December 16th Rudolph - The Ginger Reindeer
December 17th What To Get Your Girlfriend For Christmas
December 18th Chlamydia - The Real Grinch
December 19th Why You Want To Be On The Naughty List
December 20th Christmas Movies...That Will Get You Laid
December 21st Looking Back At The End Of The World
December 22nd Stocking Stuffers (NSFW)
December 23rd Last Second Gifts
December 24th Twas The Night Before Christmas
December 25th Merry F****** Christmas