Teen Hijacks Plane with Hot Pocket

Sorry world, another aerial disaster occurred this afternoon involving an 18 year old college student and the reason Jim Gaffigan is able to feed his children.

hot pocket airplaneSAN FRANCISCO, CA - A Harvard student was on a flight from New York to San Francisco that departed at 12:00 PM today and is currently in police custody for suspected terrorist acts.

"We didn't know what was going to happen, he just asked to use a microwave", a flight attendant told teen news with eyes full of tears. "IT'S ALL MY FAULT, I SHOULD'VE ASKED HIM WHAT HE WAS MICROWAVING."

According to various eye witnesses, the teen walked into the cockpit with the hot pocket and the pilot loudly exclaimed "IT'S SO HOT". Much to the copilot's amazement, the pilot then bravely took a bite out of the teen's hot pocket and abandoned flying the plane, which sent the plane and all 300 passengers into a free fall.

hot hot pocket
hot pockets are so f*cking hot
After being punched in the face by the hijacker the pilot swallowed the weapon of choice and steadied the plane, an air marshal on board proceeded to taze the terrorist suspect repeatedly for the rest of the flight.  Teen News got the suspect's last words before he was shipped off to Guantanamo Bay.