Why You Should Act More Like Alec Baldwin

Hollywood is a culture of hacks, posers and fuckboys like Shia Lebouf. At times, it is difficult to distinguish who is real, and who is fraudulent. Alec Baldwin is a beacon of hope in that dank, humid, coke guzzling, titty augmenting city. Here are some reasons to be more like Alec Baldwin.

1. The man has slain thousands of bitches
alec baldwin
6/10 for Baldwin
Alec Baldwin probably banged your grandma in the 70’s. Then he probably banged the baby sitter that was watching your dad. In fact; Alec Baldwin probably is your dad.

2. He is America’s loveable racist/homophobic grandpa.

alec baldwin
Alec don't give a fuck!
No matter how many paparazzi he calls “faggots,” Alec Baldwin will always get work.

3. Dat flow doe.
alec baldwin
finer than yo' bitch

4. He’s hip.
alec baldwin
can u spell "ima fuck your mother"?
From playing words with friends on the runway, to tweeting Lindsay Lohan and provoking fellacio, his technological aptitude is impressive.

5. Did I mention he’s banged a lot of women?
alec baldwin
booty so tiiight
Oh, to be a movie star in the 80’s. Alec Baldwin has eaten twice the amount of snatch, and tried half as hard as that pussy, Elvis.